
Closure, Control and Peace of Spirit

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Asking Others for Closure
- Clarify your motives. Be honest with yourself. What is the outcome do you desire? Having realistic expectations could protect you from additional distress.
- Keep it simple. Dwelling on the past interferes with your future happiness. Cover the most important issues and then shift your attention to enjoying the rest of your life. Take responsibility. It might tempt you to blame the other person for your situation, but youâre still in charge of how you react. Acknowledge your own shortcomings and apologize if appropriate.
- Stay positive. Let them know if youâre thankful for their kindness. Try to forgive each other for any disappointments.
- Write a letter. Pouring your feelings out in writing may help, especially if you reflect on what you can learn from the experience. Reread the letter when youâre calm, so you can decide whether to send it or burn it.
- Meet for coffee. If you feel strong enough, you may prefer to talk face-to-face. Arrange a coffee date or a lunchtime walk, so you can leave with no awkwardness.

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Creating Closure for Yourself:
- Slow down. Sometimes the desire for closure is so strong that you might jump to hasty conclusions about your ex and yourself. Give yourself time to sort through your memories and discover their meaning.
- Avoid contact. Maybe youâll wind up being friends, but most couples need to distance when they first break up. Resist the urge to call your ex and stay off their social media pages. Put away photographs and other reminders lying around your home and office.
- Practice self-care. Protecting your physical and mental wellbeing will help you to make sound decisions. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Spend time each day hanging out with family and friends and doing activities you love.
- Journal. Recording your daily thoughts and activities can help you deal with stress, too. Youâll be able to spot recurring patterns and see where youâre making progress. To stay on track, try writing at the same time each day, like first thing in the morning or before bed.
- Be flexible. Life is full of sudden changes. Learning to adapt increases your chances for success. Set new goals and let go of regrets. Cultivate your curiosity.
- Consider counseling. Talking with a therapist could help if youâve tried to recover from your breakup, but youâre still struggling. A caring professional can help you see your options more objectively and support you while you navigate through a difficult time.
Stop Worrying About What You Can't Control
Thereâs a saying that says, âWorry is interest paid on a debt you may not owe,â and it is true! How many of the things we worry about are things that we canât control? We worry about the world situation, we worry about whatâs on TV, we worry about what our neighbors think, and we worry about lots of smaller things.- We can worry about the news, but we canât solve all the worldâs problems.
- We worry about what our neighbors think, but we canât change their minds and what they think doesnât affect us.
- We turn molehills into mountains with worry, and it affects everything in our lives.

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Peace
There is a kids' movie called Kung Fu Panda. One of the major themes of this movie is the concept of âinner peace.â Itâs a state where you are completely at peace with yourself and your surroundings, and nothing can really sway you. You can call it inner peace or peace of spirit or stoicism, but whatever it is, it is often something we need in todayâs world. But how do we create peace of spirit? Sometimes it appears that everything is dedicated to being unpeaceful. It seems like whichever direction we turn, everyone is fighting, disagreeing, and getting angry over every little thing, and it can be very hard to remain peaceful in the face of all that. When someone gets mad at you for your opinion, it can be very hard not to want to fight back.
Meditation is a powerful tool for getting your spirit to peace, and you can (and should) use all these powerful techniques in todayâs world.
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