Sometimes asking for help is the hardest thing to do. It is something that many of us struggle with frequently.
It’s funny how often we’d rather take on impossible tasks and stressful daily schedules than ask for assistance. Asking for help takes vulnerability and opens you up to another person. For some of us, this may come easy. Do you struggle with asking for help? Read on for some tips that will ease your anxiety and stress around this topic.
Accept That You Need and Deserve Help
The first and possibly hardest step is accepting that you not only need help, but you deserve it. Maybe the chance of negative reactions keeps you from asking. But if you’re struggling, you need to accept that you need help or things are going to get worse.
Don't allow pride to make your journey harder than it has to be. You’ve learned how to do a lot on your own, so it is not unreasonable to ask others to help. Those around you would rather lend a hand than watch you fail.
Know What You Need
Once you accept that you need and deserve help, decide what type of help is needed. Do you need advice? Do you need a co-worker to switch shifts with you? Do you need a ride, a small loan, baby sitter? Make sure you know exactly what it is so you can go to the right person and ask the right thing.
Often, we struggle with requests for help because we don’t know what we need. We convey a hint that we think might help. When we are unclear, the other person gets confused and offers favors that miss the mark. All of that struggle can be avoided if you know exactly what you need.
Don’t Leave People Guessing
According to Alice Boyes of PsychologyToday.com, “When asking for help, make sure the person knows exactly what you want. For example, if you want your spouse to show you what to do, rather than just tell you, make sure you ask for that.”
This also works in the office. Your boss and coworkers may sometimes seem like they are waiting around for you to fail so they can be mad at you. The truth is they all want you to succeed because you are on their team. When you do your job better, so does everyone else. And your boss makes more money!
Therefore, in relationships both personal and professional, make sure to ask for specific things when you know you need them. The clearer you are, the more likely you will receive the support you need and deserve.
Give Help
When you readily help others, they will readily help you. The key is knowing when to say no. If you are already feeling overwhelmed, you may not be able to meet someone’s request. This is fine! You have to make sure that you are doing well before you can help others.
When you are doing well, however, it benefits others, the world, and even you to offer up quality assistance to your friends, family, and members of your office and community. When those around you are happy and productive, it helps you and your entire community! So, take time to help others and you will never be wanting for assistance.
Asking for help is hard because we think it makes us weak. We’re also afraid we won’t get it. We have to push on past these fears with the firm belief that we need and deserve assistance. We must also walk the walk and help others in return.
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