my feelings are valid

Four Ways To Validate Your Feelings

It is natural to feel a broad spectrum of emotions, some pleasant and others - not so much. What you do with these feelings will determine what makes or breaks you. Taking the time to observe and understand your feelings is a process known as validation.

When we validate ourselves, we show comprehension and acknowledge that our ideas, feelings, and impulses make sense. They might not be pleasant. Maybe you may think they are unacceptable. They ‌could make you feel uneasy. They are ‌what they are.

It is more beneficial to understand our ideas and feelings - validate them, than condemn them or searching for solutions right away. According to LifeHack, "As more of us are struggling to attain society’s view of perfection, self-validation is becoming a hotter topic. But self-love and being your own biggest fan don’t happen overnight."

Validating your feelings and ideas can enable you to relax and handle them more successfully. Validating yourself will assist you in accepting and better understanding yourself. This results in a stronger identity and an improved ability to manage difficult emotions. Let's examine four ways to validate your feelings:

express your emotions

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio courtesy of Pexels.

Define Your Feelings

I believe that recognizing and understanding your feelings through lexical items is an excellent first step in self-validation. Clearly defining your thoughts and feelings in this way, I think, may help you feel validated merely via their articulation, particularly in areas other than your thoughts. The aim is to find your way past thoughts that feel distant from what you're feeling. Finding the right words to express your feelings gives them far more discipline, depth, and validity.

Be Non-judgmental

It's crucial to continue to be nonjudgmental in your understanding of these feelings. By being true to ‌your feelings, you may manage them with much more transparency; hanging on to what you feel is accurate, essential, and consistent while trying your utmost to let go of whatever you do not like, seems distorted/authentic, and so on.

Using Old Memories To Validate These Feelings

Sometimes you will have ideas and feelings that are rooted in unpleasant experiences. Perhaps you are frightened of others arguing because of a past event. Validating oneself by saying, "It's normal and acceptable that you're frightened of disagreements because your older siblings used to harm one another during disagreements when you were a kid."



Reflection involves admitting and naming your internal condition to oneself for self-validation. Consider what caused the feeling and when the triggering event happened. Perhaps you think about how you experience the feeling in your body and analyze the behaviors that go with it. This entails observing and articulating, which are components of awareness.


Photo by anna giorgia zambrelli courtesy of Pexels.

Self-validation aids in the discovery of knowledge. It is important to note that awareness and self-validation go together. Being aware of your ideas and feelings is required before you can validate that feeling.

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  • Angel Lewis

    A bit about me. I was born and raised in rural North Carolina, and currently call Virginia home. My passion for writing was awakened while attending Guilford College (Greensboro, NC). In 2021, I published my first book 'My Self-Care Plan: 12 Monthly Strategies That Will Transform Your Life'. It inspires readers to make self-care a priority during the next 12 months so that they can live their best life possible. The spring of 2022 saw the release of 'Ready. Set. Fly!' my debut children’s book that encourages self-belief and perseverance.

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3 thoughts on “Four Ways To Validate Your Feelings

  1. Angel, you raise important points. So often we have an ideal of what perfect people feel, how smoothly perfect people relate, and how smilingly family events necessarily go. We get a lot of these idealized ideas from TV, especially commercials, and from movies. But real people have a range of feelings, and as you say, we need to recognize and process them . Good stuff!

  2. I really enjoy reading this post. After I had a stroke it was so important for me to be validate my feelings. Perhaps the most difficult were the ones that were rooted in old memories. Thanks for sharing this.

  3. Wow this is right on especially since my feelings about so many things are bottled up inside me. Looking forward to your blogs throughout the challenge!

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