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Healing Step: Let Pain Go

One May morning in 1977, my entire world changed.It was the first day of final exams for my sophomore year. I had just woken up and was getting ready for school. My “good morning” was returned with the news that our mother, weakened and tired, lost her long battle with cancer. “Okay”, was my reply as I headed to the shower. Everyone stared at me, believing that I was in shock. 


 Was it shock? No, we all knew that mom was dying. The only way I can describe that pain is to liken it to a black hole. For the next 25 years, I dwelled in that negative space, fueled by pain and anger. That space is no longer for me, but it is part of my healing journey and story. I had to let the pain go. 


 Let the pain go. How do we go about doing that? Pain, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional, can seem like a massive weight on our shoulders that is too heavy to be released.

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Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

The first step is to accept the pain. This sounds a little silly. After all, aren’t we accepting the pain right now by experiencing it? Experience and acceptance are not the same things. Instead of fighting it, let it in. 

  •  Yes, it hurts. 
  • Yes, it sucks. 
  • Yes, you wish it could all just go away! 


Taking pain in might be hard, and it might unleash a lot of emotions. However, once you have accepted it, you can let it go. 


Counter The Pain With Joy

 One of the easiest ways to let go of pain is to forget that it exists. It might be hard, but try to do something fun, even for 10 minutes. Listen to a song, call up a friend, eat a good meal. Do whatever you feel like doing, and maybe even try to change your environment. 


Self-medicate with joy and the things that bring you that emotion. It might be hard to reduce the weight of pain on your shoulders, but you don’t need to worry about taking it all out in one go. Instead, you just need to do one thing, one small thing, and pretty soon you’ll build a habit. You’ll also get more and more joy out of the activities as well, until that’s all you feel.

Talk To Someone 

Sometimes pain thrives whenever we find ourselves alone against it. Talking about your pain with a trusted family member, friend, or even a professional therapist can help you process it and give you someone to turn to whenever you really need to talk.


 Having a support network of friends can help you deal with your pain, and they can also eventually help you let it go once you feel better. There’s nothing like a connection with people who care for you whenever you want to focus on your own health. Pretty soon, pain will become a distant memory. 


Select Carefully Which Memories You Keep Close to Heart

Whenever you focus on a painful memory, the pain associated with it often comes back to haunt you. So instead of fighting the memory or the circumstances, you need to make sure that you select a different memory that makes you smile or laugh. If you had mental pain while at a certain location, maybe you can go to that location with a friend and try to make a fresh memory. 

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Photo from Pixabay via Nappy.co

Remember that pain is not permanent. Healing takes time and work. I promise you it's worth it.  You just need to make sure you are letting the pain go when the time comes to do so, and not holding onto it because you can’t envision a life without it.


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 I hope you enjoyed this article. Please leave a comment or share it to help someone else through their journey with change. Is it time for you to pivot? Change can be difficult, but you don't have to walk that path alone. Subscribe to my newsletter to get inspired and take action towards becoming a better you.

Like you, life has thrown me some major curves. While working through those challenges, I realized that too often, we feel alone during our transformation. Helping others feel supported by a community of fellow travelers on their path.

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