The Stress Factor
Not being able to say no can contribute to elevated stress quickly! When we do too much, it can lead to feeling overwhelmed, which can add to chronic stress. People who cannot say no are usually extremely stressed.
It is important to understand your own boundaries and limitations. Helping others is important, but you have to take care of yourself first. Sometimes this means saying no to friends and family in order to maintain an optimal level of health and wellness for yourself.
This is one of the most common causes of resentment. Feeling obligated makes it like the person is “forced” to say yes. Even if it is something that you’re willing to do, that feeling of obligation makes the entire experience a negative one.
Maybe the person asking did a major favor for you in life. Maybe it is a family member. You feel a sense of obligation to always be on beck and call for whatever that person requests of you, but you need to ask yourself “when is my bill paid in full?” Will you continue to feel a forced sense of obligation forever?
This constant obligatory situation builds resentment, and resentment can literally make you physically ill!
You need to let them know you have to put yourself first by doing what you need to do. If an issue arises, it may be best to sever ties and remove a toxic person from your life.
Enabling Bad Behavior
It has happened to all of us before, from a kid asking for something, hearing no and slowly breaking you down, to much worse influences on your life. From friends begging you for a loan, to unnecessary spending, while it may seem ok or insignificant, it enables unacceptable behavior and disrespect over the long haul.
When you say no, it needs to stay that way. You will gain infinite respect for having unbendable beliefs and will be looked at as a pillar of strength.
It's Time to Speaking Up
There have undoubtedly been many times when you sit quietly while something (or someone) boils your blood to the point of an eruption, yet you show no outward emotions. This can range from a boss berating you in the office, a bully, or a random stranger who finds it appropriate to assert their dominance over you.
By allowing it, you are doing just that, rolling over and assuming the fetal position. You don't have to be rude, loud, or disrespectful, but it's time to stop being quiet. Open your mouth, demand your respect, and speak for what you believe in.
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