The good news is, you can recreate your boundaries stronger and healthier than ever before. How? Read on for a quick list of five tips to jumpstart your life and put it on track for a happier you.
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Pay attention. Here’s where you get into the details of who you are and who you want to be. How have people taken advantage of you in the past? Where have you wished there were boundaries? What do you need to do to establish them now? Be mindful of your feelings. Look for the disappointment and anger. What has set those off? Chances are those are places where the boundaries need the most work. You’ll find that self-awareness is key to your success, so don’t be afraid to dig into your emotions.
Where have you been? And where are you now? Chances are a lot of what you feel about boundaries came from your wiring as a child. If no one respected your space growing up, it’s hard to ask people to respect it now. Examine the boundaries of your childhood and compare them to the boundaries of today. What’s lacking? What needs work? You may discover information that makes boundary setting difficult in some situations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either with a counselor or therapist to work through some of that old baggage.
Speak up. There’s going to be pushback when you set boundaries. Having healthy boundaries means you put the work in maintaining them. That means saying ‘no’ when you need to. By being assertive, you not only protect those boundaries, but you also tell the world that you have something to say. Need help? Enlist a support team who can cheer you on when you’re flagging—and who aren’t afraid to point out when you’re slipping. Sometimes we all need some tough love, especially when we’re pushing for better, healthier boundaries.
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash
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Simple but very helpful steps!
This is an area that I need to work on. Perhaps it will be in my goals for 2022.
My daughter and I talked about boundaries this morning. This is such an important subject. Thanks for outlining these simple and doable steps.
Angel, you’re on a powerful topic today. Long ago, I asked myself, “why are these people treating me like a doormat?” Then I quickly followed on with the question: “who taught them to think of me as a doormat?” Well, it was clear I must be the one who had taught them. It has been a long road of learning the reflex to ask me what my preferences are and then to express them, and then to hold those boundaries. Thanks for another fine article.
Very relevant. Boundaries are important.