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Tips for Setting Better, Healthier Boundaries

We all have boundaries. Maybe you don’t feel you do, because of many times past when people have run over you. Somewhere around the umpteenth time of being taken advantage of, of being ignored about your own needs, and treated as though your time is not valuable, you believe that you’ve lost whatever boundaries you had. 


 The good news is, you can recreate your boundaries stronger and healthier than ever before. How? Read on for a quick list of five tips to jumpstart your life and put it on track for a happier you.

boundaries

Photo by Robert Katzki on Unsplash

Permit yourself to start over. While this step seems obvious, there are quite a few reasons for it. First, by telling yourself it’s ok to set boundaries, you’re declaring that you’re important enough even to have them. But also, in acknowledging that it’s ok to start over, you’re not getting hung up on the past. That's you taking control. Embrace it! 


 Pay attention. Here’s where you get into the details of who you are and who you want to be. How have people taken advantage of you in the past? Where have you wished there were boundaries? What do you need to do to establish them now? Be mindful of your feelings. Look for the disappointment and anger. What has set those off? Chances are those are places where the boundaries need the most work. You’ll find that self-awareness is key to your success, so don’t be afraid to dig into your emotions. 


Where have you been? And where are you now? Chances are a lot of what you feel about boundaries came from your wiring as a child. If no one respected your space growing up, it’s hard to ask people to respect it now. Examine the boundaries of your childhood and compare them to the boundaries of today. What’s lacking? What needs work? You may discover information that makes boundary setting difficult in some situations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either with a counselor or therapist to work through some of that old baggage.

Take care of yourself. When you’re not feeling well, it’s nearly impossible to be firm in your boundaries. Being strong and healthy gives you the energy needed to put your foot down when you need to. With that in mind, taking care of yourself not only makes sense, but it is also necessary for future success. Remember the basics: Eat healthy, exercise, and get enough sleep every night. 


Speak up. There’s going to be pushback when you set boundaries. Having healthy boundaries means you put the work in maintaining them. That means saying ‘no’ when you need to. By being assertive, you not only protect those boundaries, but you also tell the world that you have something to say. Need help? Enlist a support team who can cheer you on when you’re flagging—and who aren’t afraid to point out when you’re slipping. Sometimes we all need some tough love, especially when we’re pushing for better, healthier boundaries.

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Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

By following these steps, you’re not only drawing a line in the sand; you’re taking control of your life. Healthy boundaries protect you so that you have room to grow and become the person you always knew you could be. But first, you have to begin. So, why are you waiting? Aren’t you ready for that new improved you? 


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 I hope you enjoyed this article. Please leave a comment or share it to help someone else through their journey with change. Is it time for you to pivot? Change can be difficult, but you don't have to walk that path alone. Subscribe to my newsletter to get inspired and take action towards becoming a better you.

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  • While I would describe my adult years as an adventure, like you, life has thrown me some major curves. While working through those challenges, too often it felt lonely and overwhelming. Change doesn't have to be a solitary or fear-filled process. I invite you to join me on this journey.

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Martha

Simple but very helpful steps!

Fern

This is an area that I need to work on. Perhaps it will be in my goals for 2022.

Florence Callender

My daughter and I talked about boundaries this morning. This is such an important subject. Thanks for outlining these simple and doable steps.

Angel, you’re on a powerful topic today. Long ago, I asked myself, “why are these people treating me like a doormat?” Then I quickly followed on with the question: “who taught them to think of me as a doormat?” Well, it was clear I must be the one who had taught them. It has been a long road of learning the reflex to ask me what my preferences are and then to express them, and then to hold those boundaries. Thanks for another fine article.

Jamieadstories

Very relevant. Boundaries are important.

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