your own worst enemy

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

I’m the fourth and youngest child in my family. My brother says I messed up his good thing - he was the only boy and the youngest until I came along 2 days prior to his 11th birthday. Oh yes, I rained on his parade majorly. There is a popular opinion that the youngest child is spoiled. I really couldn’t dissuade you of that. For years, I would proudly (yet jokingly) say “baby’s rights forever”. 😊

 My dad (mom passed away in my early teens), has always stuck by me through good and bad decisions. One of the hardest things you can do is to call yourself out on your own BS. The number four is significant to me as I am the 4th child and going through my 4th and most authentic version of myself. Please allow me to share 4 signals that you are being your own worst enemy.

 What is stopping you from getting ahead? Are you having difficulty in finding opportunities, or could it be you're not taking the opportunities when they come to you?

Crazy as it sounds, the most common reason people don't succeed is that they're engaging in self-defeating behaviors. If you're not performing at the level you think you ought to be; you might want to consider whether or not you've become your own worst enemy.

 I have been this person. I have self-sabotaged myself out of many opportunities. How can you tell if you’re doing this? Look for these four signs: 

 You Use the Emergency Exit 

And do you tend to come close to completion of a project only to back out at the last minute? When you feel the need to bail, it's typically because you're afraid to take the last step. Either you're too worried that it won't work out, or worse, you're worried that it will. It's not uncommon to back away from things that frighten us. This is why we tank a relationship the moment we start to feel close to the other person. It's also why we sabotage ourselves at work when we hear we're being considered for promotion.


You're Procrastinating

 When you put things off, it typically means you are feeling unsure about what you're doing. If you feel like your skills are not up to the task, or you're not confident regarding the next step, it's natural to put things off, hoping that they'll seem more apparent later. The problem is this clarity rarely comes. In truth, we only wind up sinking ourselves when we should have been asking for help.

 You're Burying Yourself in Something Else Entirely

 Are you easily distracted? If you're worried about the outcome of one project, it's not uncommon to throw yourself into another. This helps you keep your mind off of what worries you. It also keeps you from getting done what you need to.

 You're Giving Yourself the Wrong Pep Talk

 Instead of using some positive self-talk to get things done, are you by any chance using negative self-talk to keep you from trying? After all, it's very easy to convince ourselves that we're failures. Why do we do it? Because if we know, it's not going to work out, we never have to try in the first place.

All of these behaviors can have a seriously detrimental effect on what we're doing. Indeed we are experts at being their own worst enemies, especially when we are trying to accomplish something which involves any manner of risk, or the task is personally important to us.

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 I hope you enjoyed this article. Please leave a comment or share it to help someone else through their journey with change. Is it time for you to pivot? Change is difficult and you don't have to walk that path alone. Subscribe to my newsletter to get inspired and take action towards becoming a better you.

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  • Angel Lewis

    Hello there! I'm Angel, an entrepreneur and writer who grew up in rural North Carolina and now resides in Virginia. My love for writing began during my time at Guilford College in Greensboro, NC. Over the past couple of years, I've authored two nonfiction books in the personal development genre. Along with writing for adults, I also created 'Ready. Set. Fly!', a children's book that inspires self-confidence and resilience. When I'm not writing, I enjoy gardening, reading, playing games, and spending time with those closest to me.

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6 thoughts on “Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

  1. You’re right on on all 4 points. However, recognizing them doesn’t necessarily mean that we can overcome. I think it is our human nature. We can acknowledge, accept and try our best to do better.

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